The apocalypse will be live-tweeted.
And thank God for that. Just imagine some horrible disaster happening somewhere just out of sight, and spreading, and having absolutely no warning until it’s outside your window.
Sometimes, when all is quiet and I’ve settled down in Brooklyn for the night, curled up in bed with my cats as we drift softly off to sleep, I’ll get a sudden sense of dread. Maybe I’ve read The Stand by Stephen King too closely or watched the Twin Tower plane crash footage too many times. But the fact remains, something insanely terrible can happen at any time. And New York City is definitely a target for terrorism.
It’s time such as this that I’m able to roll over and grab my iPhone. I’ll jump on Twitter. First, I’ll look and see if any of my local friends have posted about any horrific incidents or disasters. I’ll look at the headlines for the news sources I follow. If I’m feeling particularly antsy, I’ll check trending topics.
If none of the above are inundated with reports of some fantastical happening, I can rest easy. There hasn’t been a massive chemical warfare deployment over the streets of Manhattan. There isn’t a recently discovered missile heading straight towards us. Zombies have not yet started walking (staggering?) among us. There was no mass UFO sighting.
But, in fact, many people think there was an alien UFO sighting over the Dome of the Rock just last week. Apparently, two separate youtube videos popped up showing the same UFO footage from different angles. In each video, we can hear exclamations from fellow onlookers, all in disbelief and wonder.
With all the hype about the end of the world nearing, who can blame these innocent YouTube viewers? Especially when a growing number of people believe that the year 2012 will herald in an ascension to the fifth dimension in conjunction with the alien Pleiadian race? If these indigo children are correct, we should be seeing a lot more alien sightings in the near future.
However, the question remains, if there really was a mass UFO sighting, where is the social networking proof? I would almost immediately jump on Twitter if I saw a UFO, as trite as that sounds, and I know I’m not alone.
Yet, if one queries instances of the term “UFO” for the date of January 28th, 2011 (the alleged date of UFO footage), there are zero results. No one posted anything about any alien sightings. That strikes me as a little odd. That makes me think it never actually happened. Well, that one of the many reasons I believe it never happened.
If tweets about a real UFO sighting slipped through the cracks and did not become a trending topic, I would understand. Hell, if it did not even get retweeted outside of a small group of first hand witnesses, I would also understand. But to have absolutely zero twitter backup? I find that hard to believe. People tweet about being hungry or looking at snow. I think at least a few people would be tempted to tweet about a first hand UFO sighting.
So, for now, we can sit back and relax. There wasn’t some major alien contact event that you missed out on. The zombie outbreak hasn’t occurred just yet. There wasn’t a major terrorism attack a few miles away while you were watching TV and smoking your bong.
Twitter has your back. Thanks, Twitter.